I had a rather frustrating day today. I’ve been trying to contact the Vocations Office for the Francsican Friars in Oakland for the last four days. Come to find out that the Vocations Director is out of town on retreat. I suppose that it is a good time to pray and to think about this whole vocation deal some more. I also tried making contact with the Capuchins down there, but they recommended I call the Capuchins in Washington State. If any of you know of them, can you send me a link or two? It would be much appreciated.
Anyway, I sometimes wonder why discernment can be such a frustrating thing. I know where I am going in a definitive sense, but God wants me to be patient and wait. The thing is I don’t really want to wait. I want to sell everything that I own, buy a plane ticket, fly down to Portland and start the Pre-Novitiate Program. A lot of chutzpah and zeal for sure, but the process is a lot longer than that. I have to apply first, formalize my relationship with the Church (I really need to talk to someone about this one since being received in a schismatic group is a pain in the neckcanonically), and then do all kinds of other things.
I know that God will arrange all of this in His own good time. I was reading earlier today about Brother John the Simple, one of St. Francis’s earliest disciples, and how he had waited for years to meet Francis and join him. If God wants me to wait years before I join, I can do that too. It’s just really hard to get rid of this first rush of zeal. I want to do something with it, but I don’t know what I really can do. I suppose it’s time to pray about it.
Another thing that’s been on my mind is the SSPX situation. I have a schoolmate who attends their chapels. I have never set foot in one, but I have heard all kinds of stories about the SSPX and how they run things. Stories that would make chills crawl up people’s spines. Also, their position is something that is really frustrating to me.
On the one hand, the SSPX will acknowledge the Pope as the Pope. That’s all fine and good, but they have problems with his policies and the Vatican II documents. It makes absolutely no sense to me. Either you accept what the Vatican does or you don’t. At least the sedevacantists don’t believe that Pope Benedict is the Pope. Therefore, they can continue doing what they’re doing. Anyway, those are just some thoughts on the matter.
Let’s pray for Bishop Fellay.
Our Lady of the Angels, pray for us!
St. Pius X, pray for us!